b i l b o   &   g a n d a l f

LORD OF THE RINGS - (c) Three Foot Six Ltd

BILBO

Having pulled a surprise disappearing act on his fellow Hobbits, BILBO BAGGINS sits down to discuss his future plans with the Wizard, GANDALF.

BILBO
Hello! I wondered if you would turn up.

GANDALF
I'm glad to find you visible. I suppose you feel very pleased with yourself.

BILBO
I do. That flash of smoke when I vanished - a little addition of your own?

GANDALF
It was. You have kept that ring secret all these years - no need to make an obvious a display of it now.

BILBO
(laughs)
You are an interfering old busybody, but I expect you know best, as usual.

GANDALF
I know enough to make sure you see your plan through. You mean to continue?

BILBO
Yes, oh yes. I need a holiday - a very long holiday.

The Hobbit starts in on his final packing.

BILBO
I don't expect I shall return. In fact, I don't mean to.

BILBO meets his old friend's eye.

BILBO
(cont'd) I am old, Gandalf. I don't look it, but I am beginning to feel it in my heart.
(pause)
I feel all thin.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

BILBO
(cont'd) Sort of stretched, if you know what I mean: like butter, scraped over too much bread.
(pause)
I need a change - or something.

GANDALF
I believe your plan is probably for the best.

BILBO
Well - everything's set now. All the arrangements made. I want to see mountains again. Mountains. And then find somewhere I can rest without a pack of relatives prying around or confounding visitors hanging on the bell. Somewhere I can finish my book.
(smiles)
I have thought up a good ending for it: ... and he lived happily ever after to the end of his days.

GANDALF
I hope he will. Who will read the book, I wonder?

BILBO
Frodo has read some already, as far as it goes.
(concerned)
You'll keep an eye on him won't you?

GANDALF
Yes, I will. Two eyes. As often as I can spare them.

BILBO
I'm leaving everything to him of course, except a few oddments.

GANDALF
Everything?

A shifty look passes over BILBO'S face.

GANDALF
(cont'd) The Ring as well? You agreed to that, remember?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

BILBO
Yes. Of course. I suppose so.

GANDALF
Where is it?

BILBO
In an envelope.
(reluctant)
There on the mantelpiece.

The Hobbit's expression changes from reluctant and sly, to guilty surprise.

BILBO
Wait, no! Here it is in my pocket. Isn't that odd now?
(considering)
Yet, after all. Why not? Why shouldn't I keep it?

GANDALF
I think, Bilbo, you should leave it behind. Is that so hard?

BILBO
Well, no. And yes. Now it comes to it I don't feel like parting with it. Why should I have to? You've never cared about anything else I brought back from my journey.

GANDALF
I think you've had it quite long enough Bilbo. You won't need it any more, unless I am quite mistaken.

BILBO
Why not? What business is it of yours anyway? It's mine. I found it. It came to ME!

GANDALF
There's no need to get angry.

BILBO
If I'm angry, it's your fault. It is mine. My own. My precious!

The Wizard advances on the little Hobbit. BILBO's voice, shape and manner have completely changed.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

GANDALF
It has been called that before, but not by you!

BILBO
(raving) Gollum! That miserable, wretched ... so wicked ... he wanted to ... he would have killed me. He called me sneak! Thief! But it is mine.

BILBO backs away from GANDALF

BILBO (cont'd) Mine!

GANDALF
I am not trying to rob you. I want to help you. Trust me, as you once did.

BILBO seems to cower, not only from GANDALF but from some inner demon.

BILBO
It has been growing in my mind. I always want to put it on ... to disappear. I tried locking it up, but I couldn't rest without it.

GANDALF
Follow your plan. Go away and leave the Ring behind.

BILBO
Perhaps it will be a relief not to have it.
(with effort)
I will.
(decisive)
The Ring will go to Frodo with all the rest.
(cheers up)
Yes. And now, I must really be going. I'm late, and the road is long.

GANDALF
Bilbo?

BILBO
Yes?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

GANDALF
The Ring. It is still in your pocket.

BILBO
Good gracious me, so it is.

BILBO pulls it out and looks at it. He goes to place it on the mantelpiece, but for an instant, a spasm of anger crosses his face.

He drops the Ring and it lies between them on the floor. BILBO sags from the effort but manages to turn his back on the Ring and GANDALF.

BILBO
(drained) There - that's done ... I must finish my packing ... where's my bag ... where did I put it?

-END-